How Nonverbal Communication Can Improve Your Relationship (Part I)

Standard

Unless, that is, you’re a Gemini-Sagittarius couple.  If that’s the case?  Give up and move on.

Assuming you’re not with the wrong astrological mate or anyone who’s appeared on The Bachelor, I have some proven tips that might make life a little easier in the Mars vs. Venus, Mars vs. Mars, or Venus vs. Venus tug-of-war with your significant other.

Gemini

Image by Justinsanity via Flickr

You may be wondering what makes me qualified to give relationship advice.

My answer?

I’ve been in a lot of them.

Once I was wise enough to notice the opposite sex, I immediately became a self-declared, serial monogamist.

serial monogamist: se·ri·al mo·nog·a·mist \ˈsir-ē-əl\ \mə-ˈnä-gə-mist\ nounone Stacie, who spends as little time as possible being single, moving from the end of one relationship to the beginning of a new relationship as quickly as possible faster than you can say “Shazam!” although the relationships in which many serial monogamists Stacies find themselves are also often short lived doomed, the defining aspect of serial monogamy is the desire need and ability to enter new relationships very quickly, thus abbreviating any period of single life self reflection during which the serial monogamist Stacie may begin to ask questions of an existential nature

Middle School Era:

1. Boy asks me to go with him.
2. I say “sure.”
3. We declare our undying love for one other and I write Stacie + Boy all over my Wonder Woman textbook cover.
4. We proceed not to talk, look at each another in the halls, or communicate at all until we break up (which is usually around spring so I can go to the 8th grade dance with my besties).
Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman, displaying her a...

Image via Wikipedia

High School Era (pre-car):

1. Boy asks if I want to go together.
2. I say “sure.”
3. We declare our undying love for one another and slip notes into each other’s lockers, which further acknowledges our undying love, until we get caught writing notes and have to go to detention after school (but we’re together and can pass notes so it’s O.K.).
4. We proceed to talk on the phone all the time, ask our parents to take us to the mall so we can hold hands and look at the cool stuff we don’t have enough money to buy, and write more notes until we break up (which is usually around fall so I can go to the homecoming dance with my besties).

Now wait. Before you get all, “Stacie thinks she’s all that ’cause guys were asking her out all the time and stuff,” remember that I grew up in Kentucky a thousand light years ago.  It isn’t the Deep South, but it is connected to the lower half of Indiana. Which is kind of sad.  Anyway, back then girls didn’t initiate anything with a boy.  Period.  Which I liked a lot at the time and even more now that I have two little girls of my very own.  So there.

High School Era (post-car):

1. Boy asks if I want to be his girlfriend.
2. I say “sure.”
3. We declare our undying love for one another, he takes me to school every day, we go to McDonald’s and hang out with friends, decide we’re bored, and drive around all night looking for a party.
4. We proceed to spoon after-curfew in the creepy basement, watch movies, and look for more parties until we break up (which is usually around summer so I can hang out at the pool with the cute lifeguards and my besties).

1979 Z-28 Camaro from a friend of mine, Bill C...

Image via Wikipedia

College Era:

1. Boy asks if I want to go to a grab-a-date.
2. I say “sure.”
3. We declare our undying love for one another, figure out we’re both way too into Erasure, and make mix tapes.
4. We proceed to go to more date parties, study together after class, and deconstruct why Andrew Shue plays such a doormat on “Melrose Place” until he asks if I like to cook.  And then we break up (I’d rather not cook for my besties.).

Photo of actor Andrew Shue at the 45th Emmy Aw...

I'm a doormat. Image via Wikipedia

So as you can probably tell, I’m the Gemini of the Gemini-Sagittarius couple.  Bet you didn’t see that coming!  Luckily, my husband is a Taurus, and when I start to display my Gemininess, he just ignores me.  In case you haven’t noticed, Gemini have commitment issues (Ha! The plural of Gemini is Gemini!), and if you don’t believe me, go to Wikipedia and check it out.

See?

Not my fault.

But this post wasn’t meant to be about the perfect fit between Gemininess and serial monogamy, or why I’m lucky I married a bull.  It was supposed to be about how nonverbal communication can improve your relationship.  I got so wrapped up in demonstrating my value as a nonverbal communication specialist, that I completely lost my train of thought.

And now?  I need a nap.

16 responses »

  1. You are just too funny! And I’m learning a lot about my daughter that I don’t think I knew. But after all, this was about ages 13 to 17 when you totally tuned me out!
    Love,
    Mom

  2. Ah mix tapes! Good times.

    I’m with Charles. I didn’t date much in high school. Although I did pine away for several boys in middle school and was very good at practicing writing my name with their last name over and over again on my Algebra book cover.

    Great post!

    • Right, I think I taught myself cursive in middle school thanks to my discovery of the opposite sex. I had this huge crush on a boy in 8th grade, had my friend slip him a note to hint that I might want to go to the 8th grade dance with him (VERY forward for a Kentucky girl), and he went to a Motley Crue concert instead.

  3. Stace: You forgot to mention the stirfry. ONly you could break a guy’s heart with a home made stirfry…

    Enjoying reading your posts 🙂
    Kari

  4. VERY FUNNY! So true about the dating life of middle schoolers, too, although so much has changed now. Not sure how old your kids are, but if you haven’t experienced it yet, it’s the most hysterical sport ever invented.

  5. I am a Pisces with Sag rising and Sag moon! :o) AND I grew up in a small town just west of Indianapolis! AND All of my grand-ancestors (parents, aunt, great-grands, ect.) were from Kentucky. So we are all related I think, Indiana and KY are kinda the same, because we all have kin there! :o) Loving your blog!!! I really do think we are twinners….I did not date in highschool much, only b/c I headslammed a guy into the lockers once in 8th grade b/c the boys would not stop pinching my b^tt!

    • Better to headslam than to be headslammed, I always like to say. We COULD be related except all of my people are from Atlanta. I loved growing up in Kentucky and telling endless Indiana jokes, though (jj!). I’m in a silly mood right now so sorry if my comments seem, well, silly. Thanks so much for coming by, speaking up, and sharing your thoughts. I’m looking forward to more back-and-forth!

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