If you’ve made it to this page, you’re either:

A) In search of a laundromat.

B) Laughing at me.

C) Bored.

If you’re wondering why I got Freshly Pressed you’re either:

A) Googling the phrase “10,000 tan babies.”

B) In therapy.

C) Bored.

If you’re wondering how I got Freshly Pressed you’re either:

A) A critical thinker.

B) New to WordPress.

C) Bored.

If you’re wondering why you’re still here? I often think the same thing myself. Thanks for stopping by.

18 responses »

  1. I’m just perusing your archives whilst I wait patiently for your book to drop. By the way, I just read The Catcher In The Rye for the first time in thirty or so years, thanks to your suggestion.. It’s fucking brilliant. I remember there being a big stink about whether or not we should be allowed to read it in Junior High. I think we actually had to have a parent sign a permission slip, which I’m pretty sure I forged, just for the rush. If Holden Caulfield was around today, he would be pumped full of Ritalin or Prozac or whatever the hot new pharmaceutical drug was, and put in the corner. Or he would be in a kick ass boy band. I’d get a hell of a kick out of that. I tell you, I really would. Sometimes you don’t realize how much you want to be in a boy band until you’re in one. That’s what my brother D.B writes about out in Hollywood. Being in boy bands. He’s too much, my brother D.B is, I tell you, too much.

    • See any similarities? Now you know why I keep bringing it up. You’re that good. Catcher in the Rye is both a best ever and a banned book at the same time because of Holden Caulfield’s voice and the things he isn’t afraid to talk about. It’s a once in a lifetime kind of thing. You have that. You have a gift. You are so fucking funny and wise, it would be a shame not to work that into a protagonist, because kids will read you. Look at One Direction. I’m not saying I want a bunch of screaming 12 year-old girls at your door or anything, because that’s just creepy. What I’m saying is I want a mention in your Author’s Notes. Something flattering that makes me look young. So hurry up and finish the book. =)

      • I really appreciate the incredibly kind words, my friend. I definitely feel like I’m working up to writing it. I feel like I’m writing a book with the whole Sasquatch festival series. But it’s keeping me writing which is good. Maybe I can turn it into a TV movie starring Billy Baldwin and Meredith Baxter Birney? Meredith Baxter Birney plays me. And I know she dropped the Birney, but she’ll always be MBB to me.

      • Good points, all of them. MBB was one of those MILFs back in the day before that term even existed. Even as an 11 or so year-old girl, I knew that, although I didn’t really want to talk about it in public. Sasquatch is part of your protagonist’s backstory. Maybe he follows an obscure band all over the country and makes grilled cheese sandwiches to pay his way or spends all his free time entering online contests. And losing. And getting all this malware on his mom’s computer. Until he wins something awesome. Is Billy the nicest Baldwin brother or the one who’s a nut job? I used to get them all confused until Alec did “30 Rock”. Seriously brilliant. Like you. Keep on keepin’ on. =)

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